Traditional hospitality of Hanoians
VGP - Hanoians would demonstrate respect in receiving their guests through their welcome, their dress, and their invitations.
William Dampier (1652-1715), the famous English traveler, described a Hà
Nội guest reception in the book A trip to
Đằng Ngoài in 1688: “When receiving a visitor, especially a European,
betel, in addition to other dishes, is always offered. The servant carries the
betel tray and stands on the left side of the guest, so that he can open the
tray and use his right hand to take the quid of betel from the tray. It would
be offensive if the guest used his left hand to take the quid or offer and
receive other items, because in the Easterner's opinion the left hand is only
used for low and mean work.”
Foreign
tourists taking a stroll in Hà Nội’s Old Quarter – Illustration photo
To be polite, guests were expected to speak highly of the fragrance or
prettiness of the quid of betel they were offered. By doing so, a guest could
greatly please the host, bringing the two people closer together. Every two or
three days, the host would send his servant to bring the guest a tray of betel
and convey his concern for the guest’s health and work. The guest was expected
to give a small tip to the servant, who would then proudly tell the host about the
guest’s honor in receiving the gift. The host would be even more satisfied, and
welcome the guest with even more respectful greetings to another meeting…"
Hanoians would demonstrate respect in receiving their guests through
their welcome, their dress, and their invitations.
To greet a guest, instead of saying “hello”, the host would say "Which
wind brings my venerable brother here?" or "Today, the dragon calls
at the shrimp's house". While receiving guests, the host would always
dress neatly to show his respect for the guest. If the host were untidily
dressed, he would return to his bedroom to change clothes before receiving the
guest in the guestroom.
Traditionally, guests would be offered betel and tea. For a regular
guest, the host would offer some cups of tea and several quids of betel. He would
open the betel tray himself, or he would hand the tray to the guest. Or, he
might place quids of betel on a dish and give them to the guest with two hands.
Then, the host would uncover the tea tray, using boiled water to rinse the cups
and the pot before pouring the tea. The host would pour tea into a large cup (chén
tống) before sharing among smaller cups (chén quân), in order to
keep the dregs in the large cup. The host would carry the tea cup with both
hands to offer the guest. The guest in turn would always dry the bottom of the
cup by moving it against the rim of the plate, in order to prevent tea from spilling
on the table or his clothes. It was a rule of tea making that the host would never
add boiled water into the pot a third time. Family guests, or those from afar,
would normally be feted with a lavish meal. During the meal, the host would
take care of the guest by filling his bowl first, with the most delicious morsels.
After the meal, intimate friends would often be invited to stay for several
days. At parting, the host himself would see the guest off at the door or gate
of the house.
Hanoians families continue to teach their children traditional customs with
regard to communicating with houseguests. Parents pay particular attention to
training their adult daughters on how to attend to guests.
